Before I Die: 7 Uncomfortable But Powerful Things to Do for the People You Love
- Anna Ciboro
- Jun 6
- 3 min read
Updated: Aug 24
Funerals come too late. The flowers, the stories, the “I wish they knew” moments — they all show up when the person we love is no longer here to receive them. So let’s flip the script. Let’s talk about the things we can — and should — do before we die.
Yes, it’s uncomfortable. But it’s also powerful.Because love isn’t just how we live. It’s how we leave.
Here are 7 bold, tender, and sometimes awkward things to do before you die — so your legacy isn’t left to chance, but shaped with intention.
1. Say the Hard Thing Now
Apologies. Forgiveness. Gratitude.The words we save for the right moment? Say them now.
Don’t wait for a hospital room. Don’t wait for someone else to go first. A simple, “I just want you to know how much you mean to me” can rewrite someone’s inner narrative for life.
You don’t need to be dying to be honest. You just need to be brave.
2. Write a Legacy Letter (Not Just a Will)
A will distributes your stuff. A legacy letter gives your people something priceless — your words, your stories, your voice.
Tell your kids how you fell in love with their other parent. Tell your best friend why they changed your life. Tell your sibling the thing you never said out loud.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be you.
3. Create a Digital Memory Hub (Use a Personalized QR Code)
What if your great-grandkids could hear your laugh?
A personalized QR code connects people to your story instantly. It’s grief tech that feels human. And it turns your headstone into a living archive.
4. Normalize the Death Talk at Dinner
Talking about death doesn’t bring it closer. But avoiding it? That leaves your loved ones guessing when they’re already grieving.
Let people know your wishes. Do you want to be cremated? A jazz funeral? A tree instead of a tomb? Tell them now — and invite them to ask you about it.
Make it casual. Make it weird. Make it a normal part of life.
5. Organize Your Chaos (So They Don’t Have To)
Passwords. Bank info. Your dog’s vet records.Your digital afterlife matters — and someone’s going to have to sort it out.
Use a secure document or app to record what matters. Include your wishes, important contacts, even your favorite photo of yourself. The goal? Fewer question marks for the people picking up the pieces.
6. Leave Something Weirdly Wonderful Behind
Your banana bread recipe. A video of you dancing terribly. A voice note singing your grandkid's name.
These odd little artifacts will mean the world one day. Not because they’re perfect — but because they’re you.
Grief clings to anything that still feels alive. Give your people something to hold onto that makes them laugh and cry at the same time.
7. Choose Your Final “Message” (It’s More Than a Headstone)
Your final message doesn’t have to be carved in stone — it can be shared through a custom memorial, a video, or even art. Some people choreograph their funeral playlist. Others leave a “read this after I’m gone” file. You do you.
At MTL, we believe memorials should be as unique as the people they honor. That’s why we offer QR code plaques linked to curated digital pages — where your life can keep speaking, laughing, and loving even after you're gone.
Before I Die, I Want Them to Know…
Here’s the truth: You don’t have to be old. You don’t have to be sick. You don’t have to be dying to start thinking about what really matters.
You just have to love someone enough to make it a little easier for them when you’re gone.
So say the thing. Write the letter. Make the weird video.Before you die, give your people the gift of peace, clarity, and love that echoes.
Because one day, they’ll be holding on to everything you left behind. Make sure what you leave tells the story you meant to write.
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